Curiosity Didn't Kill The Cat
by Nakimochiku
Summary: bleach christmas story. oneshot. no couple.or mistletoe. humor. curiousty didn't kill the cat, at least, not in Ulquiorra's opinion.


CURIOSITY DIDN'T KILL THE CAT

_this is induced crack. I was up late rolling around on the ground wondering what my christmas presents were. Then I thought it would be amazingly funny to see grimmjow doing the same thing. It's a little long, but I'm tired, so I tried to stock up on the humor. Enjoy..._

XxXxX

Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

"I CAN"T TAKE IT!"

Or at least...that's what I want to say. Grimmjow Jaegerjacques sat bolt up right in his bed, sweat forming at his brow as he panted heavily. Now normally, this would make any fangirl squeal. But not with the insane glint in his eye.

"Can't take what?" Ulquiorra asked, half asleep. He rubbed his eye and put on his customary frown. His white make up was messed up, showing human skin underneath.

"This! Don't you find it a little strange? I mean, first, Aizen _wanted_ us to go to the human world, and made us buy each other gifts! What's the purpose? And not only that, he put us with roommates. ROOMMATES!!! what's he up to?!" Grimmjow explained, albeit a little hysterically.

"Just go back to sleep and you'll find out in the morning." Ulquiorra told him, he was missing his beauty sleep because of this trash...

It was true though, the things Grimmjow had said. An envelope containing instructions had been given to them that morning.

_1. Go to the human world and buy your fellow espada a gift, do not allow them to see what you are buying them._

_2. Place those gifts, neatly wrapped in christmas paper, in front of your respective doors._

_3. Then, join your roommate in the guest room on the north side of las noches_

_4. Wait for a surprise in the morning._

Almost all the arrancar had wondered what this surprise could be. But they weren't overly curious...at least, not the way Grimmjow was.

He got up and tipped quietly passed Ulquiorra's bed. The fourth espada immediately sat up. "Where are you _going_?!" he asked. More sleep lost.

"To find out what that surprise is." Grimmjow answered. Ulquiorra got up and slipped his tiny feet into fuzzy pink slippers

"Curiosity killed the cat, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra warned, following him down the hall, wrapping a pink house robe around himself.

"Shut up! I'm not a cat...I'm a panther." Grimmjow corrected, nodding his head as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

'Big difference' Ulquiorra scoffed behind his back. As they descended the stairs, they saw bright pretty lights and streamers strung from the roof. The other espada were gathered around a tree.

"Oooooh!" Grimmjow marveled. "Pretty lights!" he restrained himself from batting at a bundle of holly that hung from the ceiling. There were boxes around the tree. Some wrapped wonderfully, and others...not so wonderfully. Though, you could clearly tell which ones were wrapped by Halibel. They were nicest.

Everyone turned to Ulquiorra, as he was most knowledgeable on human and shinigami topics. "What's all this for?" Halibel asked in her quiet way.

"It's a human and shinigami holiday called christmas, friends and family get each other gifts and open them on christmas day. Apparently, it's a holiday that is meant to bring people together." all espada nodded vacantly, having not understood a word he said.

Grimmjow's eyes caught sight of a perfectly square white and blue box, addressed to him. He lunged at it, but the box was grabbed away from him by Szayel. "Now now." the pink haired man told him with a smile. "We have to wait for the surprise."

"I hate waiting." Grimmjow grumbled. It was 12:45 pm on the dot before Gin and Aizen climbed down the stairs, usual smiles on each face. The rest of the espada were a bit rumpled from trying to keep Grimmjow from opening his presents early. In the end, Halibel sat on him to keep him where he was.

"My my. You all ruined half of the surprise." Gin said.

"Time to open presents" Aizen said with a clap of his hands.

"YES!" Grimmjow shouted, he picked up the blue and white box and torn off the wrapping paper.

"Card first, Grimmjow." Aizen stated, earning a grumble from the sixth espada.

"It's from you..." Grimmjow shuddered and continued to open it. "WHAT KIND OF KINK SHIT IS THIS?!!!" he yelled, holding up a ball of yarn. Ulquiorra knocked it out of his heads, sending it rolling "kyaa!" Grimmjow cried out happily, chasing after it.

"I knew he would do that." Aizen whispered to Gin.

In the end, it was a very happy christmas for all espada...except for Ulquiorra who had to help Grimmjow untangle himself of yarn.

Isn't it a shame though, that Santa can't make it to the hollow world? maybe we should wait until next year...

"Merry christmas to all and to all a good night, from the espada, and kougyoku with love!"

'Ignorance killed the cat' Ulquiorra thought, snipping unhappily at the yarn that bound Grimmjow. 'Curiosity was framed.'

OWARI

_heh heh...I can't tell wether that was humorous or not but...you know... whatever. Merry christmas, happy kwanza and chanukah and eid and dawali... _


End file.
